This country does something to you. It makes you appreciate loneliness. Most of us are surrounded by friends and family here, but when its time to turn off the lights, you realize how alone you are... Someone the other day pointed at the noise of silence in this country. Though most of us laughed his comment off, I realized how right and how honest he was. A lot of us yearn for a support group, just to get us through the day. Face it, we are all in that situation. You could argue that it isn't country specific, but somehow it seems so.
And then of course the want to stay back here. We all come here thinking we'll stay here for a while and then go back, but then the fact that you begin to appreciate the independence you have, the self confidence you have harnessed here, the loneliness that doesn't eat you up anymore, all add up to you being a hypocrite to your own fundamentals. I have personally seen so many people say- I am going back- only to return to me a couple of months, not years, but months later and say- No one wants to leave this place- if its a genuine thing, fine. But do not use it as a defense mechanism because it's purpose is evident. I can't stand it when I come across these situations. And I can't stand it when people ask me what I will be doing- whether I will be staying here or whether I will be going back to India. If you can't figure it out on your own, don't try and figure it out through me and my thoughts; nothing's stopping me from classifying that as a sadistic view. Decipher what you want to do by what you want in life, not by what others want in life. Its disgusting when you do that.
So yes, this country does something to you ( if I may repeat). Can we get away from it is the question? I haven't seen anyone do so, and I don't think it will change for a while.
4 comments:
Trust me, I'm going back.
eternal dilemma....! wanna go .. dunno when and to do what... ! still "wanna go!"
@ Javits: Like I always say: we'll see. Over the years, I have realized that these are decisions that cannot be judged by the heart (if I can take the liberty of being a little melodramatic here).
@ Vikram:
I am telling you-its a huge dilemma. Maybe we need a world turner, instead of a time turner and get back to where we were. Err, no idea if that made sense, but yep there's no definitive answer- either way, we are going to regret the decision. Geez!
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