Results for ICSE came out a couple of days back and it brought back bad memories of my own results. I hadn't done that well as everyone had expected me to do, but now that I look back I wonder why were we even that persistent to make it to the top. I know one way I convince myself is saying that India is a developing country with not too many opportunities like the US and so we have to push our through the assiduous hurdles on our path to the top. I made an 89% in ICSE and I know I was in shock; but in my own defense, I knew I had done well, I just didn't know how I'd failed myself and my family. My parents were definitely disappointed because I hadn't hit the 90% mark, (I was too, no kidding) but what could I have done after that. Anyways, looking back definitely brings back unwanted memories.
And then, I talked with a couple of people from this years' ICSE batch and the same thing repeated. One of them made a really really good grade, but failed to satisfy the parents. This is where I say "Enough". Kids these days have lost all motivation to study for the sake of learning. They study to please their parents. It falls under my definition of "sin". Yes setting standards is definitely good, that's good parenting, its a good motivation for the children too; but if your children have reached it or rather are close to it, be content. Where your children stand compared to others' is not important, what they do in that position is what is important. Someone who is first their entire life can be a complete failure and someone who has been struggling their entire life is probably planting seeds towards making a difference. Yes parents will be parents, but all the time demeaning your kids(their version is motivating) is not worth it- it will only drive them towards self-inducted pain. I am not saying that parents should completely let go of their kids' lives but a little understanding would help. Its bad enough with the pressure education has become, and to add on that pressure from parents. Talking really helps, figuring out where each party is coming from is important. All the shouting, disappointments, frustration leads to nothing but the same list of household disobedience. All of us need to be content and happy with what we have. In the long run, these marks aren't even going to matter- like I said, it will be what we do that is important.
~Shreya
4 comments:
Oh, and you're a good writer, and know a lot more about politics and agendas than I do. I don't even know who is in charge of the Treasury now! Ben Birnanki? Yeah, I don't even know how to spell his name. :D We need to chill together.
oh cmon demeaning,setting standards for someone,being an example take the second step.at the top is self-satisfaction.since you said you weren't satisfied with 89,well it was past.now that you have realised it really didn't matter,things ARE in place.Sad,it takes a couple of years for parents to understand what is really needed!
@rajeev- its precisely what Betty Friedan in her book "Feminine Mystique" talks about- parents live vicariously throught their kids (in her book it was about women, but I think I can make the generalization in this case)
"In the long run, these marks aren't even going to matter..."
True. But they seem important at the time :) Which is prolly why parents get so worked up over them.
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