Say Cheese...

One of the best things we (most of us) do today is putting up a false front. What happens inside our homes, rarely comes out. We have educated ourselves to be so closed, that it scares us to open up. What if the other person thinks we are a coward for opening up? Faking a smile has become an art. If someone can't do it, then they are being insensitive to the people around them. Finding a person to talk to and pouring out everything you need to, might just end up disturbing their peace of mind, that is if they do have one!

So what happens now? Since we have it all caged up in this big organ system of ours, where do we go from here? Do we just let life consume us or do we consume life? Sometimes the world is just an individual and sometimes its a maddening crowd, which one you want to be a part of is not the question, the question is which one will you let take over you.

There are some things that are inexplicable in life, one of them is existence itself. I am not set out to decipher it, I think the existentialists did their job. The other is courage [or a lack of it]. A lot of us rebel from the inside, but are hard core conformists on the outside. What happens to people like us?

Do we ever reach the other side? Is light really at the end of the tunnel, or is it just the end...?

And so it is..

I'd forgotten how much I loved this song. I remember not able to control tears the first time I heard this song. There's something about it. Sure its depressing, but even then...it's out of the ordinary

The Blower's Daugher- Damien Rice
(the girl is Lisa Hannigan)

All the Lost Souls

All of us have been living the monotonous life, day in and day out. The purpose of life is to understand where the monotone emerges from. Blindly following what has been prescribed to us. Sometimes we look back and all we see is blank space. We are all so lost. Someone who has focus is lost too, cause all (s)he can think about is that end of the tunnel, nothing else to distract that mind.

And of course, it monotonous to think about this all the time.


Frustrating....

EP5K

Took part in my first 5k run today!!! It was awesome. I don't know if the time was conducive though(7 am); it was freezing cold! But I ran and more importantly, finished it! With an hour and a half sleep the night before, I took over that 3 miles like it was nothing. Ok enough bragging, because now I feel the pain, and so I am off to sleep.

(L-R) Manvi, Shveta and MOI!!!!
(Go AID)
(Go Women's Empowerment)

The Point

You walk down a crowded road, contemplating how different everyone is from each other, when in fact, nine out of ten times, everyone is sailing the same thought-boat- what is the point? Conversations, off late, always take that gradual turn- what is the point? There is no point in all of this... Pointless.

All of us are so bogged down in finding the point in life, that we forget to live life the way we think it should be led. We try so hard to find that point, to prove to oneself and to others that we are doing something substantial in life, that we forget how to have fun. Competition is so deep down in our veins; we cannot stand competition from others.

We look back at conscious decisions, only to regret having made them because now there isn't any point to it. Self-satisfaction has reached the other level- it is no more in the moment, everything is long run. There's always that annoying naivety in us, screaming at us to find the point in a decision, a justification behind a job done. Why can't something be the infamous- just because I wanted to do it then. I do it all the time, the questioning part I mean. But it seems so counter- productive and time consuming. You are paying for that decision twice, in effect.


Which brings me to the point of this post (oops)- why is the status quo the status quo? Why is it hard to move away from it?

The Reality of Reality TV

Call it cynicism, call it pessimism , but one of the biggest curses to modern day television undoubtedly has to be Reality TV. Big Brother, Beauty and the Geek, The Bachelor(ette), Wife Swap, Nanny 911, Who wants to marry a US citizen? No, the last one is not something I conjured up during this write-up, but it is a new show that will be airing soon. I hate to admit it, but I am in awe of these shows; it is mesmerizing how producers come up with these ideas. And what is even more interesting; is the plethora of time the average person has to participate in these shows. Needless to say, is the unmitigated media attention winners of these shows are awarded. News is not news until gossip comes up. Shocking huh? I mock with a lot of intention.

Reality TV is by far, a sick safe haven viewers are granted after hard day at work. Or so I think. Or so some of us think. If reality TV was meant to be family time, run away from it as far as you can. Sex on camera, swearing on camera, you name it, you've got it. Sex is very obvious, and the whole bleep thing is mundane, because their lips are focused and we know what they are saying. If I were to watch it, just as a dinner table show, with my mom around, you know what the consequence would be. And what do they call it- Entertainment. That's what the people want. I guess it's true, cause they do have wonderful... drum roll please....Ratings. Everything is ratings motivated.

Which brings me to the burning question, have we surpassed all levels of decency; especially when it comes to TV? Subtle things are fine, but when you make it too obvious, it is plain nauseating.

Now game shows, I have a sincere fascination for them.

Run Lola Run!

Red haired, skinny chic running close to a million times (I exaggerate with good intent) just to save her boyfriend from getting beaten up by a don- for 100,000 Deutsche Mark.

That is probably the shortest synopsis anyone will give you for Run Lola Run starring Franka Potente. For those who have seen the movie, you know what I am talking about. For the unaware souls, watch the movie. I assure you, disappointment will not be part of the baggage. And watch it in German (with English subtitles, if you will), don't watch the dubbed version.

Brilliantly filmed, simple movie.

The blasted male 'ego'

"If he or she wants to...., we don't want to anger the women in the class now, do we?" An oft repeated statement, followed by sneers from guys in the class with a pinch of sarcastic comments. Pretty hard for the XY clan to see the XXs in there. "Dude, there is no way she could have gotten to that position. Slut! Damn straight there were things happening behind close doors." " Man, she got a better grade than me, how is it possible? Plus she's married. Doesn't she take care of the kids or something?" Its sheer pleasure to see how the male ego is hurt when a female compatriot crosses their horizon. Oh that ego. Fire spitting, rock solid, easily hurt- ego. Somehow they cannot stand that women can be their equals. Equal wage sounds blasphemous to them. After all, why shouldn't it- the better race that they are , aren't they?

Millions of Americans today are insecure with the idea of a female President. Why? For fear of being a nation that could be possibly run over. Gender bias, and not policy bias is what will determine their voting inclination. How apt! She might not be able to handle the pressure, she will do a bad job at being President! Yea great job the guys are doing, aren't they? Wonderful job! Keep up the good work, please? What would we do without you, o wise one?

How many girls have often found themselves in the if-can-you-cook,- you-will-get-married situation ? How many? Can I get a count please? Inquire the same thing from a guy- boy are you going to go down Inferno. The girl's insolence would be called upon with umpteen scrutiny, she might even be accused of being sexist. Thank you very much. I prefer it that way. Deal with it or keep walking. Last night, I found myself in a situation where the guys asked a girl to make tea at 1:30 am. When the girls rebelled for her, pop came the answer- "We are prepping her for family life." Excuse you!!?!!! Family life? Serving male chauvinists like you? See, we have no problem being stay-at-home husbands but we need to get paid for it. Classic foot in the mouth situation, cause two of us were about to ask them to shed out money for the late night tea. All they did was have a smirk on their faces. Insensitive .....!

Ask a guy to change their last name after marriage- BLASPHEMY! But reverse the gender and they justify by the eternal just-because-it-should-be! Who bloody hell said so, might I ask?
There have been instances where highly educated males have made their wives change their last name on their already existing passport too! Rude, callous, chauvinistic coward. Can't stand the fact that the wife has an identity of her own. Why should her identity be tied with an incessantly insecure human being? Just- because?

Just because what? It will hurt that ego that she is independent? It will hurt that ego that she can be someone too? Or because you will lose strong hold? You will lose that control over her life? Do not even dare give me the its-traditional line, cause I promise you, you are asking for trouble. Its sickening to see how strong of a hold a male dominated society continues to have even today. They feel tremors in their fort the minute a girl approaches them. Guards up! She cannot pass through these gates, or else we will crumble.

But what's gagging is girls who let it happen.

We need to poke that male-ego more often cause that's the only way they will realise our worth. That blasted male ego!!!

A sin?- its nothing.. its plain fun

A Slut. A whore. A bitch! Really? So what if a girl wants to date an older man? Sin, they say. "Why can't she find someone of her own age?"

Well obviously, if she had found someone, she wouldn't be looking at the older guy. And its a guy right? (Not that I am against gay rights). So why the screams and the yells? She's having fun! Some plain old fun! Why the hell do people start judging the girl and praying for her relationship to crumble along the way? So that she comes to her senses? Yea right! SENSES!

Social norms, my ass. Can we not look at the other side? The guy is dating a younger chic! Or is the grass really greener on the other side? Now just to make things clear, age difference here is more than ten years. Give the girl a freaking break, will you? She's probably helping some lost soul boost his self-esteem, who would have died in loneliness wondering why no one was with him.

Its alright, its no sin- if they think they are in love, then so be it. If they think that its plain fun, then so be IT. And oh, all those people who date someone after calculating the age difference, boy are you in trouble if I find you. Biased love <==> true love? Whatever!!!

So all those girls who want to go date an older guy- go! Do it! Kick some serious ass while you are at it.

Dumb traditions. Why are we femmes the ones answering all the time?

Its all the same!!!!

When you wake up and find yourself in the US, things seem odd and different; things seem ridiculously difficult. But as time goes on, you find yourself constantly explaining your culture, your traditions, and sometimes even your language, quite often to people who claim to know things . An innocent economics grad student at the University of Houston found herself in one of these ridiculous, yet hilarious situations on a cold Monday afternoon. While she waited with her friend for a cup of hot chocolate, she happened to hear the conversation between two undergrad girls discussing what they wanted to drink. One of them suggested that they drink chai and upon the inquisition why, went on to explain that it was very healthy because it had a lot of spices and herbs in them. She also suggested that she could drink tea too. Put in crude terms, the grad student cracked up ending it with a smirk on her face, subtly making sure that the girls saw it. Unable to restrain her obsession to explain things, to friends and strangers alike, proceeded to tell them that it was the SAME- TEA and CHAI were the same things. Let me enlighten you as to why the grad student made it a point to set it straight. In the US, chai is sold at coffee places as flavored tea- orange, raspberry, chinese herbs (god knows what that means), spicy masala chai- basically ruining the taste of tea, aka chai. When are these people going to learn??? I guess until they realize that Shreya and Shreyasee aren't the same thing, that semai is actually semi, that antai is anti and of-ten is often, we are still going to have chai as chai and tea as tea.

weirdos!

The Isolated Globalized World

"Because the line between,
Wrong and right,
Is the width of a thread,
From a spider's web.
The piano keys are black and white,
But they sound like a million colours in your mind"
Spider's Web- Katie Melua"

You go back home to your loved ones after a hard day of work. Things seem normal, until you turn on the television. The war, the crimes, the blasts...the death, the doubts, the horror...the life...Today, in a seemingly globalized world, things could not have been more isolated. Globalization, is nothing, but an illusion; one that was created consciously by human beings with the advent of technology and most of all, the internet. Don't believe me, just ponder for a moment as to how many of us go out now like we used to do five years ago. Even when you are with friends, you wonder about the work that is awaiting you back at home. And here's how we have become more isolated- that iota of doubt that fills our minds, only to become a volcano waiting to erupt, ruining things for us. You are afraid to smile for one might misconstrue it, you are afraid to cry for one might think you are weak. How many friendships have been ruined because of doubt, how many relationships have been torn apart because of doubt...lack of trust. Most of us have lost track of what right and wrong is. Every action has a justification behind it, rational or irrational. The blind belief some of us have on media reports, has added nothing but fear amongst mankind..towards mankind. Fear has taken over the multitude of our thinking power to the extent that some of us sit back, only to be a silent spectator to the torture, the abuse that the world faces today. Voices that could have been heard, are lost in a lonely corner, adding more fuel to the fire (or lack of ) in their existence. Racism is more today than ever before, they aren't shown because it might strike a debate. You believe what you are shown, you don't believe in what's wrong or right, what you believed in. The sponge of a mind has absorbed all it can, nonetheless it will take in more of the lies it is presented just to rot. The mind has a spider's web within itself, with insects that gradually entangle it reaching a point of no return. We don't know what to believe.

And then there are those, who constantly fight to eradicate this galore of fear, this galore of doubt; to make the globe globalized. If only they had more support.....

Marriage, Kids...and Economics

I am intrigued by how increasingly hilarious and weird what I am interested in economics is beginning to get. One of the few things in macroeconomics (tada, you have figured out that I like macroeconomics) is different models that explain the growth of an economy (if you are already bored, then your loss :D ). I hate to make this post a lecture about the two models I am currently smiling about, but you will see the irony in those models. Needless to say, the models take into consideration a lot of assumptions. Duh- economics, as I define it, is the science of assumptions.

The RAMSEY MODEL is a highly dynamic model that explains the growth in the economy with phase plots; how consumption and capital increases/decreases . A little bit of a background- Ramsey came up with this model when he was in his 20s and died 2 years after he proposed the model. What were his assumptions- people live infinitely and are alive at the same time; as in your kids, their kids and successive generations will never move out and you end up being the ruler of the family for eternity . Irony- the model was proposed by someone who didn't believe in the infinite life himself. Wow! The OVERLAPPING GENERATIONS MODEL also models consumption and capital growth but its assumptions are different- that you will die (oops) and that your kids will move out. Even better, is that you will live for two periods, hence never living to see your grandkids. If you haven't noticed yet, death is an assumption. Aa the metaphysical connotations are immense, and I don't think I have the strength to point them out.

Here is where its the pinnacle of weirdness (and thanks to Dr.Vollrath for having pointed it out)- what do you choose?

1. The Ramsey model- where you live infinitely, but your kids never move out, heck their kids never move out either?
   

OR

2. The OLG model- where you die, but your kids move out?

Tough choice! If only I had one... Which brings me to my observation- how having kids, and ahem getting married, are actually influenced by these two models :D, especially for economists :D

The hoped end

"....separate the fiction from the fact...", a voice ran in the background. Had her life been a fiction, a figment of someone else's imagination. She had lost all she had, all she had hoped to have. Never ceasing to self-deprecate her existence until that bright and sunny April morning, when the daffodils had fully blossomed. The view from her little cottage was beautiful. However, that did not remove the constant depression she was under- the constant fear she lived in...until now. Were the seemingly carefree daffodils giving her a fresh ounce of hope? She smiled to herself and lay her head against her chair and thought. Her life flashing in front of her eyes- the banal promises she had made and was forced to keep them, the unrequited love, the tear she had forgotten to drop, the smile she never stopped to fake, the life she had led for others, the life she always day dreamed about....

" Kathy!!! Time to pack up. We are gonna leave in 15 mins", her brother called out.

Her head on the armrest of the chair and legs curled up- it was the end; the hoped end to the life she hadn't hoped for.

Top ten things about...

First month of Grad school and I think I can tell you what my economics classes are going to reiterate for eternity. So here are the top ten things about economics classes in grad school

1. Monotone increasing/decreasing
2. Concave/Convex functions.
   
3. Jensen's Inequality
   
4. The Implicit Function Theorem
   
5. Envelope Theorem
   
6. Duality Theorem
   
7. Cramer's Rule
   
8. Hessian/Hamiltonian/Jacobian
9. The Intermediate Theorem
   
10. Central Limit Theorem
    

If you haven't noticed something in the top ten, you are probably not reading it right. Its all MATH. ITS ALL MATH! My notes consist of math and then intuition. And would you know it, my intuition SUCKS!!!! Yes grad school in economics is definitionally equivalent to grad school in mathematics (oh here I go again with a nerdy talk :D)

Shreya

:(

Umm...ahem!!

Not surprisingly, I love my iPOD. The fact that I can put all my songs in that one little thing and change songs according to my mood is just plain awesome. But here's where it gets dangerous. Every evening as I wait to change my bus, something interesting happens. The setting usually is around 7 p.m. and the sun is about to set, and it goes without saying that is pretty, even in a city with so much chaos and pollution, a sun set is beautiful. And for some weird reason, I also want to listen to either Chalka Chalka or Naina Milaike, both from Saathiya. They've got a beautiful rhythm to them, and me having learnt classical dance, its kind of a dance trigger. As aforementioned though, it can get highly embarassing. So I was waiting for the bus at the Texas Medical Center, and of course I am listening to this song, but all of a sudden a sudden involuntary action leads me to act out the song with hands too and I began to do the different mudras. After about 3 mins, when the song is close to ending and I am gaining consciousness of my surroundings, I see a couple of people I know at the Medical Center standing by and watching me. Trust me, I have never been redder in my entire life. I didn't know how to react to their staring and grinning of course :( .

Well I guess its the fault of the music and not the iPOD :P

~Shreya

To be or not to be...a spy?

So apparently I have a natural inclination towards the Russian language. Weird? Quite frankly it is. I don't know how it is possible but apparently I understand Russian pretty darn well. My first year batch consists of three Eastern Europeans and a Russian, and no wonder when they are around they start to jabber off in Russian. Here's where it gets immensely crazy. They used two English words in that entire conversation last Friday and I understood word to word and did a perfect translation. It drove them nuts as to how I could understand, what was even funnier was even though I was gloating in pride that I could understand an unknown foreign language, I couldn't figure out how the heck I could comprehend it. Its a different thing if you sort of understand a couple of words here and there, but whole conversations...

So now I have gone from being Shreya- the Kid to Shreya- the Spy...can't decide which is worse(even though the former apparently still exists) ?

The weirdo in me asks me to shut up and get back to lagrangians...that's exactly what I am going to do!

~Shreya

World War III....?

(Disclaimer: This post was triggered while reading Longitudes and Attitudes. Almost all my quotes come from that book, no doubt it may seem highly biased. The whole point of this post is not to justify terrorism, please do not get me wrong on that. But I am against the way we have tackled it, a.k.a foreign policy. )


Imagine a world where 9/11 never happened. Hard to do so? Precisely. The aftermath of 9/11 has terrorized every individual so much about the potential attacks on mankind, that we have lost hindsight of a less terror filled world (we have never had a terror free world). However, one may ask if it was more so the terror or the reaction that followed the attacks, that is responsible for said behavior. There is no denying that post 9/11, the world has changed, for better or for worse. The War on Terror was an immediate answer to the attack on capitalism on the so-called capitalist guru of the world. Unnecessary was it- no one asks anymore because where lies the point in questioning itself? A lot of us after viewing a rather rash and harsh decision by the United States of America, said to ourselves - "This is the start of World War III." Ever since, terrorist attacks have become more prominent in the world. Here is where things are wrong though- we are in the middle of a war but all of us, except those soldiers fighting for vanity and their families worried if they will ever come back home, lead a normal life. That initial pizzazz to fight for what had been destroyed is gone. Don't deny it! It really isn't there anymore. Thomas L. Friedman, in his book Longitudes and Attitudes- Exploring the World After September 11, partly a collection of his articles in the New York Times, actually went ahead and pronounced it as World War III. "The people who planned Tuesday's bombings combined world-class evil with world- class genius to devastating effect.And unless we are ready to put our best minds to work combating them- the World War III Manhattan project- in an equally daring, unconventional, and unremitting fashion, we're in trouble. Because while this may have been the first major battle of World War III, it may be the last one that involves only conventional nonnuclear weapons." (World War III, September 13, 2001).

What has prevented this war from escalating into World War III? Because we are not in the middle of World War III- if we were, we would all be choosing sides, unprovoked, (though in a subtle way we are), enlisting citizens in the army everyday, building up our weapons, marching off to some foreign land to kill, and most of all forming collaborations and collaterals that will fight with us. No one country would be free to sleep. It is only the US that is involved in such a war with a little help from UK and a couple more countries, but nothing as serious to call it World War III. You remember how World War I and World War II were (or at least you have been educated about it). Then how can we call this the third one, when it lacks intensity as them? We are not fighting global terrorism, we are fighting terrorism where our interests are being threatened. Now is that biased or what? The problem with our war today is that its tag line has become - It's our way or the highway. And even worse, is that it has become a war on religion. How much ever we deny that we are not against Islam, just against radical fundamentalists that have marred Islam, it sure does look like one. The Prime Minister of India, Dr. Manmohan Singh, roughly about a month back made a highly welcome comment - "Terrorism has no religion." While some people might disagree with this, I highly support his point of view. On the other hand, during the Republican debates at Drake University, Iowa, Presidential candidate and former Mayor of New York City, Rudy Guiliani said- "4 democratic debates not a single democratic candidate said the word "Radical Islamism". Now that is taking political correctness to an extreme." Is it really extreme political correctness? At a time when we have to work more closely with the Islamic world, how can we make such a statement? In his article, Smoking or Nonsmoking, published on September 14, 2001, Friedman writes, "To not retaliate ferociously for this attack on our people is only to invite a worse attack tomorrow and an endless war with terrorists. But to retaliate in a way that doesn't distinguish between those who pray to a God of Hate and those who pray to the same God we do is to invite an endless war between civilizations- a war that will land us all in the smoking section. " It is hard to distinguish the non smoking and smoking section now. To have associated this war with religion was wrong in the first place. Not surprisingly, there is no looking back.

We started the war first as a reaction to the atrocity New York City bore on that fatal morning of September 11th. Gradually it progressed to being the War on Terror, and then it became towards helping authoritarian nations build a democracy. Sound familiar? Yes, the whole idea behind ousting Communism was to bring down the Iron Wall built by the Soviets. Cold war we called it then. History books have often expressed awe as to how it never escalated into a nuclear war. Today we are just waiting when it does, cause we know it will very soon happen. Friedman writes, "Osama bin Laden- he destroyed much, he built nothing. His lasting impact was like a footprint in the desert." ( Bush to Bin Laden, October 12, 2001). Reality check, we haven't done anything significant either. Afghanistan- we claimed victory there. Bull shit. Hamid Karzai is an utter failure. We always station people in "democratic power" who we believe will side with us no matter what. If you don't believe this, go back and check what happened with Iran and yes Bin Laden, at one point of time, was funded by us. The Taliban is regaining strength in Afghanistan. All those lives lost in the desert to search for a cave man- gone in vain. We haven't built anything there that is substantial. That democracy we were so proud of over there is going down the drains. Iraq- that ball game is an open book. We can't do a darn thing to instate a democratic government. We went in thinking that everything could be solved once Saddam Hussein was executed and if we found those non-existent Weapons of Mass Destructions, things would be hunky dory again. Wrong!!! The War on What? echoes this thought perfectly- " Is America's war on terrorism going to become a war against democracy? " (May 8, 2002). During the Cold war we supported dictators who promised us various things, once they were in the government they became what they were meant to be- dictators. We are doing nothing different today. President Pervez Musharraf is a dictator, there is no denying that. Add onto that he is a General of the Army too. We never asked him to step down from the post of the General until the Sharif threat returned after Supreme Court said former Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif was wrongfully sent to exile and could come back to the country. Lo and behold, Musharraf steps down as General and lets exiled Benazir Bhutto to come back to Pakistan too; pressurized to do so by none other than the United States of America. Don't be fooled. The Mullahs and Taliban are gaining strength in Pakistan too. Wait for a while until the so-called liberal theocratic state goes back to the tough regimes of the Taliban. We fight for human rights everywhere else, except for the Arab states cause we know that it will stop flow of oil. Same logic why we couldn't say a thing against Hugo Chavez when he called President Bush - "A devil" at the United Nations, same reason we haven't done anything against Fidel Castro cause we know then Florida will never see the dawn of day ever again.

If it still isn't evident, we are getting isolated by the day. We are not the world, we need to realize that. Someone once commented as to why the President of the World Bank should be nominated by USA. Why should anyone think of New York City when the UN comes into question and not Geneva? Our allies, and not our foes, are scared of us. Friedman reports in The End of NATO that Brussels, NATO is buzzing with one issue and one alone- that the US has become way too technologically advanced to fight its war on its own, thus forgetting its allies. This is what has happened. We have become over-confident of our strength. We are not in the middle of World War III, we are in the middle of a war between USA and the Muslim world. "My fellow Americans, I hate to say this, but except for the good old Brits, we're all alone. And at the end of the day, it's U.S. and British troops who will have to go in, on the ground, and eliminate bin Laden."( Thomas Friedman,We Are All Alone, October 26,2001). We need a miracle to get us out of this mess. I don't believe in miracles. No amount of diplomacy is going to solve the farce we have created in the world. Something needs to be done....soon...


~Shreya

Doors....

I was walking through the automatic doors of the Math Building at my University, when I literally heard myself say in my head, "That's right. You open for ME!" Well I did giggle in shock cause I didn't realize I actually was being sadistic about it, but something struck me when the next door wasn't automatic. I had to push it open, basically make the effort to get through. Doors pretty much give you the feel that you are visualizing life. Sometimes in life things get done, it flows unattended cause it just has to. And dare you stop it, cause you might end up getting hurt. Just like how you do not try to force open an automatic door (unless it isn't working) because you know you aren't helping your case at all. Other hard times- you have to make the effort to get through. Obstacle after obstacle and you have to open it, conquer it and move on. Sorta like the difference between an automatic door and a "manual" door. You get the point...

Some of us take life way too easy, and some of us take life way too seriously. I hate to admit that I am in the second group. I envy those people that make both the effort to have fun and get work done. Its really hard for me to do that. I have to have things done the way a perfect world would function, and no surprise, get smacked right in the face over and over; never learning the lesson. As I walked through the aforementioned door yesterday (which has been used like a million times before though), I realized what I was missing out in life. Getting things right always doesn't matter to the world neither should it to me. It , in turn, ends up hurting me. I have to let certain things flow their course and not stop it. I have preached to a million people' "Live in the moment, let life flow the way it has to!" , but often find myself scared to practice it with myself. I am going to make the honest effort to stop myself from committing the same mistake again.

I never knew doors could teach you a lesson......phew!


~Shreya

Songs....

While I was chatting with TK before he left for the US (... again), he said something very ..umm well...profound "Songs are so underrated as memory triggers." That one sentence made me think back on my existence if life, from a view point of songs. My dad once said that usually when we listen to songs, it just so happens that we have something in the ears, very rarely do we pay attention to it, especially in this age of iPods and MP3 players. Don't believe me? Just think to yourself- homework time, travelling, at the library, it usually ends up that you have it to "concentrate" or to fend people away. And after a while- you come to the sorry conclusion that you missed your favorite song; when it comes time to go back to that song- lo and behold your battery has died out on you. Getting back to the reason of post; off late a lot of songs on my favorite list have been playing on the radio- the likes of both old ones and new ones. Needless to say, flashbacks of where I have been and what I was doing when that song originally played have been cropping every time. I even ended up calling up Murjhi and Raju the other day when I heard a certain song yesterday. International call costs, at that point of time seem too trivial to even consider- you so want to be with the person especially when they are friends you have known for over 10 years.

Here is a list of songs that trigger my memory the most- I will try putting up little itty-bitty anecdotes whenever I can (just might end up having on all of them :P )

(Most of them are in India, when its in the US, I will make a note of it )

• Truly Madly Deeply- Savage Garden - whenever this song played on MTV, Cynthia and I screamed our lungs out. We would leave everything, cooking (cause we would expt a lot then) would be transferred to her mom and we would sit in front of the TV upright, forget the world and watch that video. Lost lovers, back together.....aaa seemed ....I dont have the words for it.
• The Hero- Enrique Iglesias - that was the first song Mahejabeen (Murjhi), Rajalakshmi (Raju), Priyanka (Priya), Cynthia (Cynthia) and Shreyasee (moi- Moti) had learnt the lyrics together. Lunch time was when the boys got bugged of us cause we were sitting and practicing (yea it was this song that triggered the call yesterday).
  
• Ek Pal Kaa Jeena- Kaho Naa Pyaar Hai- Item number 1 in the year 2000-2001. Cynthia and Murjhi best impersonators of the dance- and the three of us best pushers to get them to dance. Dang they even danced at Ramoji Film City now that I think of it.
  
• Zombie- The Cranberries (US)- Location--> the Econ Undergrad Lab. About 10 of us working on the infamous Econometrics homework. Diego, who is doing Game Theory at that point of time, asks me, "What are you listening to?" When I furnish him with the answer, his immediate reaction was " When did juice start singing?" If there was ever an eruption of laughter, it was then. Most of us had already fallen off the chair and on the floor, until we saw Dr. Thornton, who eventually joined in too. De-Stressing :D
• Waqt ne kiya- Kaagaz ke Phool - Thanks to my mom, I adore the song now. Its like the best song ever. Someone asks me sing, I always do this song.
  
• Kajra rey- Bunty aur Babli (US)- Location--> Lubbock, TX- graduate student's apt- someone's birthday- all of us dancing to it and then it happened- the cops came- someone called 911. Bloody hell!
  
• Get over it- Avril Lavigne- Poornaa sang a version of it for Varun's birthday and now I am absolutely in love with the song. Its like you have life reflections with that one...there are other songs too....Thank you Poornaa for introducing me to it, and she actually did a brilliant job.
  
• Tere Bina - Guru (US)- we were driving down to an Indian restaurant when in the car this song played on the Indian radio here. We pulled off to the shoulder and finished the song. Insane. People passing us thought what the hell, they aren't even outside the car...
• What goes around, comes around- Justin Timberlake - This is the most hilarious one. TK, Shilpa, Addy and I in Addy's car and this song played. Shilpa and I remark as to how good Justin sings and acts in this video. TK, visibly oblivious to the song goes," Its a guy who's singing!!!???!!!....WHAT!!! " Laughter eruption again. :D
  
• Dil Chahta Hai- Dil Chahta Hai- This was our song ( the 5 girls mentioned in The Hero). We were all gonna be like that. But now its what Sid said- that we won't be able to meet once in 10 years either ( I forgot the exact Hindi wordings). But I am glad I met Murjhi and Raju this time. It brought back memories, this song is a trigger of all the pranks the 5 of us pulled in school.. Fun times
• Unfaithful-Rihanna (US)- Annie and I jabber all the time in the car. But when this song is on, its the like the two of us have no clue who the other one is and we sing that song. Rihanna effects you see :D.
  
• As long as you love me- Backstreet Boys (US)- Annie and I in her car again or maybe her apt, I forget and the rest should be left unsaid. :D
  

There are many more, but this has to be the end for the moment!!
........
Shreya

Build Up Part II

This post is inspired by Rajeev's post "Build Up" that describes things that happen at the gym :).

So off late, I have had a surge of motivation to go the gym and get into shape. I have never been in shape, so this is something new to me. Needless to say, the gym is quite an interesting place, even the one in my apartments(which is where most of these take place). Except for a few dedicated people, most of us go there to show off and then also to "make friends" and "hit on people".

1. If there was ever a justification as to why the iPod, the MP3 player, heck even a CD man or a walkman, was invented it was because of the existence of gym. Helps you keep away unwanted "objects".
2. You walk in and go "Awww man !!!". Why? There are Indian aunties and unkules there staring at you as you get in. They are wondering why you are dressed the way you are and are not in a salwar. And the worst is when by an error of destiny you have forgotten your savior (reference to #1) and they start up a conversation - that begins with a smile, leads up to how old are you and how much you got on the GRE/TOEFL (Geez!!!)
3. Mirror problem. Too many mirrors for people to check themselves out and the unaware ones too.
   
4. Guys don't push yourself too much, you will end up going home and cursing yourself for it. You know what your limit is , some people present in the gym also can see when you have reached the point de torture.
   
5. Dumbells (dumb bells) are meant for use, not for show off and smiling at the girl who happens to catch your eye.
   
6. Oh, Indian guys please don't end up talking about the Indian girl in the gym. As fate will have it, she will know what language you are talking about and before she leaves will make it a point to let you know that :D.
   
7. Friends could end up being a curse at the gym cause sometimes they are more of a distraction than a help... x-(
8. Worst is when you have no idea how to use an equipment and can't find the right person to ask about it, a.k.a some hot guy who's just about to leave(oh well yes I defied the whole point of this post :-P )
9. And then there's the phone call that needs to be attended to immediately, and sometimes like a dimwit you forget you are on the treadmill. The rest you can decipher from there.
   
10. To top it all, the vending machine right outside the gym that is a gentle reminder of what is important in life. Have that coke (might as well right :D) - the neutralization effect- you burn that many calories, you replenish them, come back home and whine. But hey! You didn't put on weight :-P . Lovely logic, aint it??

~Shreya