Guns on Campus

I wanted the title to be a snarky one, but my linguistic abilities failed me given the nature of the topic I am about to divulge in. Recently, the State of Texas (Happy Belated Birthday State of Texas) has proposed to allow guns on campus, on educational institutions' premises. Of course, since we are dealing with the Red State, it is highly likely that this law is going to pass.

Fortunately though, debates have taken place to attempt to give this law a justified (loosely used) existence of sorts. Here's where I stand. I am all for not having guns on campus. It's just going to someday make my parents lose their only daughter. I have an affinity to attract trouble towards me, and I can see myself dying because of a shooting on campus. Someone said that responsible people own guns. Ya, hence so many people died in Columbine, and VA Tech and little Christina Taylor-Green and poor Gabrielle Giffords suffering ; cause they were being targeted by "responsible" people. How, how tell me is it justified to have guns on campus? I am horrified. I am losing the ability to articulate at this point, that's how horrified I am. Added security if there is a shooter on campus? Imagine what the scene is going to be. Civil War Re-enactment if you asked me. Fires shot everywhere and more innocent people dying.

Your probability of death by a bullet goes up when this law is passed. Your probability of an undergraduate threatening you with a gun to increase his grades since he wasn't happy with them goes up. Your probability of being in the middle of a silly shootout increases. Your probability of committing suicide because of course load will increase. Your handle on sanity will decrease. Your handle on reality will decrease. Your handle on rationality will decrease.

I am scared .....

The Art of Bargaining...in India

If you are from India, then bargaining is an integral part of your existence. Exaggeration? Probably not. Any city I have been to I have always been advised to profusely bargain...like there's no tomorrow. Be it Linking Road in Mumbai, New Market in Kolkata, General Bazaar or Charminar in Hyderabad.

If you are not aware of this, it is one of those things that could make or break your shopping reputation. "Maathe pe buddhu likha hai kya? 4 rupaiy se zyaada hargiz nahi doongi?" To which the seller could reply two ways " Deneka daam bolru madam" or "5 rupaiy madam". All for a pair of kaajal that costs 3 rupees each. One might argue that even that was overpaying.

I have seen mom, aunts, friends scorn upon me when I give in easily. My mom had reduced the price of a handbag in New Market from 100/- to 50/- . What is hilarious is the drama that ensues. The seller cries foul, the buyer attempts to do the same, the buyer decides to walk away, the seller follows the buyer and 70% of the times will seal the deal at say 55. Of course then I hadn't realized that 50 bucks was high too, but humor me.

This time in Bombay (Mumbai, whatever suits your boat) I was pleasantly surprised to see myself even attempting to haggle. I brought down the pair of really pretty earrings from 250/- to 100/-. Proud of my bargain, I began to look confident as I strolled with Sriram, who himself was quite surprised with my efforts. "Do din ka khaana chin gaya usse," he made sure he pointed out. Only to stop at another store merely 500 ft selling the same exact identical pair of earrings for 100 bucks. Aiyyo moment. Learning experience. Chin up. General Bazaar in Hyderabad definitely proved better, since all I kept saying was - "Udhar mereko isse kam ko dere, aap log mereko lootne ki koshish kaiko karre?(The other store is selling for less, you better give me a better deal)" Though I would like to boast that said attempt worked 100% of the time, it didn't since the sellers aren't kacche khiladi(novices) either.

So how do you perfect it? Can you in fact perfect it? Can we model it (the paper hungry in me asketh) ? I mean sure people have worked on it before, but for some reason I don't think it can beat what experience can teach you.

Oh well - there's time ;)

The oblivion of rebel

I have always wondered what it is like to be a rebel. When I say rebel, I mean doing something that is not expected of you. I was always expected to do well in school, to be in academics, to get a PhD. It was understood. Shreyasee/Titir will do what she sets her mind to. I wanted to be a journalist when I was in high school, my friends are still perplexed why I didn't go through with it. Like I said, it was just expected.

I've never experienced that supposed "high" from being a rebel. The fact that I stopped learning the piano, the fact that I went on to do economics is considered being a rebel. I am one heck of a wasted talent, consensus has been reached.

Now when I want to go back to pursue something, is it really a sign of failure? Or someone's honest desire to get back to something she's always liked it? Is it really too late?

Happy Independence Day

On this day, since we are so content with all of this - do nothing against

1. female infanticide
   
2. honour killing
   
3. price rise
   
4. domestic abuse
   
5. rapists going scott free
   
6. farmers committing suicide
   
7. children not getting basic education
8. religion over sanity
   
9. rich becoming richer, poor becoming poorer
10. going back to princely states

Happy Independence Day. Being content is living well and hence we are.

I tried and I made it!

"....people stood in line to charge their mobile phones", he said. I didn't I had tears until the talk ended. I am not going to write on this since it is better you watch the videos. Please do watch both the videos.








Necessity is the mother of invention

Shreya

P.S. Thanks Vikram for sharing

Facebook

Simpler times - University of Houston was on the waiting list of schools to get access to Facebook. And when it did, we had to strictly use UH email. Imagine the number of people flocking to the IT dept to start using their UH email. Good times..

I used to be one of those fanatics who made sure they could tell everyone what was going on, finding every one of my friends on there, following them (no not stalking them). I liked facebook.

And then .... it got complicated. It became this myriad of quizzes, of farmville, of fishville (god give extra time to these people, since they know not that they have sinned), of mafiawars, of craziness. And I began to detest it. It is an addiction - an inelastic demand that I am trying to turn into an elastic one, if only that were possible, considering I am in grad school.

Facebook has A.D.D.- what happened to it being a social network place- now its so ANNOYING, to say the least. Everyday its layout changes. Everyday its privacy stuff changes. Everyday its new. Everyday I check it I go I miss the old facebook.

I really do. I used to hope for a better interface, and look what I got. Please Mark Zuckerberg , please don't make any more changes. Please. I am tired of hiding friends, and hiding quizzes and random smiles I get from people.

Please please please - pretty please

Little Things....

Chatting endlessly with friends helps you realize stuff, and then, of course like it were planned, we return to the routine we whine about. A routine in itself one might say.

Kartik was struggling to find a topic the other day for one of his articles. Of course, I am of no help, but did criticize him for writing something, for lack of a better word, oh so serious. Toyota recall something something it was.

Frankly, I am so tired of reading these things (sorry TK). We are so consumed by all of this, its plain ridiculous. Death here, corruption there. Recall here, bonus there. Granted these are important things. Granted these are things that are part of that happiness we all yearn for. But would it kill someone to write something, happy? Like how they spent the day on the porch drinking coffee, reading a book and enjoying that down time. I am sure the editor wouldn't like something like this, but you get the feel of it. I can't think good thoughts anymore, for fear of them being crumpled by future bad incidents. Must be prepared for anything, and thus ruin that little peace . Anil, was to say the least, frustrated with this line of thinking- "Can't you be happy for once- happy for no reason to add onto that?" I paused for a moment, in shock to add to that, cause I never thought that I was doing something wrong. It was natural, it was the way one should think. That what if was already in my line.

We are so consumed by these, at least I know I am, that we work towards avoiding something that might happen, versus working towards that simplicity we've been cribbing about since lord knows when.

Yours truly, will go back to the routine within a couple of time units(unspecified cause I don't want to give you false hope). But here's to at least trying....

Children on Children's Day

That children are the citizens of tomorrow- is an oft repeated phrase in a speech a child gives on Children's Day. In fact, yours truly is guilty of starting this post with it. International Children's Day is celebrated on June 1, and Children's Day in India on November 14th of every year. While usually it is a day celebrating children and their innocence, it is also a day that one is reminded of the numerous kids that are exempt of the privileges that some of us have so shamelessly misused.

Here's my crib. Why remember them on the day that's meant to be theirs? The rest 364 days, forget about them or don't give them that much attention. In no means is it a generalization, there are lots of people who have devoted their lives to ameliorate the kids' lives, but they too go unnoticed until its Children's Day. Remember the dead when they died is it? News websites in India flash reports about malnourished children in rural India, the sorry state of affairs prevailing all their life, that money directed to uplift them often fails to even be heard of.

Where do we go from here? Feel sorry for them on the day we are meant to think about them and then go back to our business of doing petty chores that we so relentlessly run behind? Or do something that will in deed be of help? Where do we go from here....

Here's a nice TedTalk I stumbled upon today...Sort of connected...but not I suppose, either or its a good talk

What to do...

Being selfless is often a virtue human beings desire others to possess, but not something they would easily picture themselves having. Sadly, this wasn't the case with her. It was unthinkable for her to be selfish, even if it meant doing something she knew was detrimental to her in the long run. In fact, it was the opposite in this case, her friends yearned for her to be selfish.

It was hard to decipher her. Putting herself first before making a decision wasn't ever the right thing to do, every time she thought about it, there was an impending guilty feeling in her conscience that made her step back. She'd struggled hard enough to make everyone happy, never hoping for a return. But it wasn't enough...people had higher expectations for her every step of her life. Was it because they thought she was capable of doing it or they were vicariously living through her life was indeed debatable...

So what should a girl like this end up doing...Wait for someone to tell her how to change her life or in fact make her own decision...

Abandon sex the TV way

Disclaimer: Dad, if you are reading this, sorry, but you know I had to write about this, its stupid how these people think. There goes creative thinking down the drain- and hence I never adopted it.

Agreed. We've got a population problem in India. Increased population leads to increased pressure on the economy, on the food chain, such and such. Clearly, you can see I am least bothered about the population problem by itself.

Indian Health Minister, Ghulam Naqbi Azad, in an interview about ways to reduce increase in population has said that heightened viewing of television, especially in rural India, will reduce the production of babies. Firstly, LOL at that. (Daddy, LOL=laugh out loud). I mean really, seriously, really? Where did you come up with that Mr. Azad?

I quote him here- "Television has one great benefit above all... if electricity reaches every village people will watch television late into the night and will have no time to produce babies. I would believe 80% of birth control be taken care of by television." Again, LOL. Imagine the plight of the birth control pill companies, even worse poor I-pill was just launched. How will it survive?

Obvious outrage in me, hence the lack of coherence. Someone asked me, what channels will be shown to these people- I say GOOD QUESTION. Now answer that Mr. Azad. Please do not show them something equivalent to the History Channel, cause then they might as well, spend time having sex, and if there's something on TV that's useful(in every sense of the word), then more incentive for them to check it out (;)). I mean learn stuff from TV if you wish to. TV as birth control, yea right.

So all those villages eagerly waiting for electricity, its coming, cause Mr.Azad thinks it will give you something to do. :D Sure it will...

Good Will Hunting

The human race is an odd species. Half its time goes away trying to contemplate the possibilities of maintaining reputation. We are so consumed by what our place in society is, what it will be, we forget who we are. Some would argue that this is not a bad thing necessarily, after all its the survival of the fittest. But take a step back and think about it- is it really worth it? We are in a constant struggle to be someone people want us to be, or what people expect us to be, what we think people expect from us, what will it take to be us? Imagine a world where everyone was exactly who they were- would it really be that easy and playful to live in?

I watched Good Will Hunting for the 'n'th time today and the last scene without Matt Damon finally made sense. He could have been what he was being sculpted into by a frustrated Math professor. But he knew what he wanted. Sure its a Hollywood story, but in retrospect it could be our life...It really isn't about others, it's about us as an individual.

Life has become about others, while death the individual....odd ...

Death...

Disclaimer: This is going to be a very depressing article, both due to the content and due to the fact that it was written on a weekend (great choice of day there). So reading along is totally up to your discretion. And no I am not suicidal, this is just a post.

Last Monday I woke up with an odd feeling- that this was going to be my final week on Earth. My final week to live. And then full stop. Period. Done. That's it, I wouldn't have to wake up in the morning, I wouldn't have to think about what was to be done, make an agenda, procrastination would have no consequences, I wouldn't have to be answerable to anyone, I wouldn't to worry about keeping people happy...oh the number of 'I didn't'-s and 'I wouldn't'-s that I could come up with....

Oddly enough, I wasn't sad or concerned about it. It almost seemed like a relief. I think the rationale behind it was that no matter what we do in life, and no matter if we achieved the fame we all yearned for, one had to die someday with or without that fame, with or without that knowledge. Hence, not a big deal. I sat down thinking to myself how life, in reality, was too long. On average, we live to about 70 years these days. Sure there are exceptions. But we can't help admit that life expectancy has increased. And yet, we seem so concerned about life being too short. I mean how much more time do you need to figure out your life. If you haven't done things by then, you won't do it anymore.

We are scared of death- no doubt about that. And living with that fear, we ruin every ounce of potential fun we are entitled to, or at least think we are entitled to. Almost seems like, things we do are to avoid death. That we know of its existence, should technically make it simpler for us to live, not complicated to the core. That knowledge should in fact just let us live...not die while living...

Gmail Blog

Call me a nerd, call me jobless call me whatever, but one of my things during leisure time ( err ok all the time) is to make sure I am up to date with the newest things on none other than GMAIL. I have to visit the gmail blog everyday to see if there are new updates to the mail system and of course I try and implement. Sometimes I wonder if gmail failed, what would happen to my daily routine.....err lol!!

As I contemplate over that, visit the gmail blog and be amazed

.....

She knew it wasn't going to get better. That feeling was the worst ever. When disappointment... being led off track was tangible. But what could she do? There was no way out. Even if there was, there wasn't enough courage in her to do what she wanted to do, or to at least even acknowledge that it wasn't what she wanted to do.

She'd seen her family spiral down. A little too fast. Domino effect. Better than before. A start she could pin point but was it worth it? An end- none possible? Was it worth thinking about....She'd given up a lot, or at least that's what she thought. It would take a lot more to make her life seem worthwhile.

Was that all she cared about, to get that attention she yearned for? She was one of those people that couldn't do without people. Had to be the center of attention, if she wasn't she found a way to sorta find her place there. She was living someone's life. That was certain. She knew it, acknowledged it. But she didn't have the courage to change it. It wasn't fair to her....it wasn't fair for anyone....

It was the best anyone could do....It was the best she had always known....Its the best she'll always know.....

At a loss for.....

Delhi-6 promises to be a good movie, inspiring as well. Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra after all. You start with one video, and proceed to another one; you know that vicious chain of videos you get sucked into on Youtube. So my next video "happened" to be the trailer for Rang de Basanti- that movie that was thought provoking, that was off-beat, that made you think who you were as part of a country, of any country for that matter.

Of course my immediate reaction was to start blogging from what I saw in the RDB trailer- "A Generation Awakens". Myth I say it is. When 26/11 took place, when India was in shock, it seemed it would be the trigger to do something different, and not sit back. Sure we aren't sitting back, but ask yourself if we have in fact done something. Pakistan has not yet accepted involvement in the massacre. The dossier has had no significant impact on either government, it literally is a dossier. Plans were made in Bangladesh, now in Europe...apparently. In all of this, we have the Satyam scandal. The defining fall of India's IT sector in the world. Merryll Lynch backing out, so many clients insulted.

And in the heart of the country, that of the citizens- nothing has changed. We sit back and analyze; rage against those responsible, rage against the government has known no bounds for a while, but all in the coziness of the chair at home, in front of the TV. A two year old is raped in Bombay. Common, what can we do. Mangalore assaults. Horrendous. Let's send Pink Chaddis to the guy, Hindu Talibanization. Conduct certificates for single girls if they want to rent an apartment in Bangalore. Brilliant. Dawood trying to kill Qasab. We have all the news, we do zilch. It will all die out. I am waiting for it.

Half of us are sitting here in the US hoping things are better back home. In the mean time, we can take advantage of the exchange rate while it lasts and make fun of the falling capitalism. Job search isn't going the right way....well there's always India to go back to. And the other half in India too scared to change the status-quo. True you can't blame them because anti-social elements have taken the best of their thinking abilities. For that matter, non anti-social elements as well. Barkha Dutt pulled a brilliant stunt on a blogger, since she didn't like what was said. And she calls herself a journalist. A journalist who prides herself in the quality of work she has put forth over the years. Tell me this Barkha, wouldn't it have been easier for you to write something about that instead of pulling all the legal logistics, asking the blogger to apologise. So much for the freedom of speech you so dearly cherish and you so dearly derive your living out of.

Why has this gotten easier for us to accept? Thomas Friedman had written that our generation is Generation Q- Q for Quiet. We shout, we write, we debate, we blog, but in the end we are quiet, its better that way, we are in that infinite loop of leisure and ease that gets us nowhere.

Yours truly takes full responsibility of being in Gen Q. What will it take to change us in reality?

My bailout s'il vous plait

If there is one word that the GRE/TOEFL is not going to ask this year and the coming years, it's BAILOUT. Everyone knows what it means, after all it has spread its horizon throughout the world now.

Off late, every time I sit down to read the newspaper, I wait in anticipation of news about bailout. Who's next? Another financial institution, more likely than not....Social Security is definitely down the drain by the time I get old enough to be able to claim it.

Where is my bailout please?

Where is she now?

If you know me well, this post will come as a surprise. And let me know if what is in this post is not justified. I am guessing most of you have taken the time out to read the article and have already made a mental picture of what I am about to write. Sure, I am going to write about where this lady is. I do not care that she has a name, I do not care that she got to the US. All I care is I have been in this situation, still am, and have seen what it can do.

"Obama a messiah for Chennai family", that's what the headline read. Since the Obama wave has taken over places and people, yes moi aussi, I read the article, only to end up baffled.

I remember this person applying for a visa to get here to the US so that he can see his only daughter graduate with a bachelor's degree. Only she knows what she went through those three years, those three that she so desperately wants to forget. But sure enough he was denied visa, why - no points for guessing- cause he was a potential immigrant. Yes, his daughter was an American citizen, and yes his wife was here as well, sure that made him an immigrant, a potential one might I add. So he has never been able to set foot into the US ever since then. This to a man, who left the US in '86, has been to the US at least three times ever since then. So no brownie points for being here and leaving, nope! It made him a potential immigrant nonetheless. So would it have helped for his daughter or his wife to have sent a letter to the Congressmen in-charge then and seen if it had helped? Would it have been fair to beg for an entry to this country? Should I judge and say that because of this I had to go through graduation without my dad? Or should I just sit back and say, I guess I deserved it.

The article very sweetly failed to mention where this said lady is right now- India or the US? I wonder why........She wanted to come here for her son's house-warming ceremony, and she did. What wrong had my dad done to visit me for my graduation? That he didn't beg to get here, and held up his pride?

I want to know where she is. I want to know how many people here are NOT potential immigrants.

Written on the 25th of January, 2009

November 26th, 2008

Written on the 1st of December, 2008

San Diego Harbor mesmerized us. We were deprived of this in Houston. All of us in our own world, pondering life as it came. Until that phone call. Taj and Oberoi under seige, ATS chief Karkare dead. Terrorists in control over south Bombay. 900 TCS employees warned not to get out. Hostage situation on the rise, point and shoot not a misnomer anymore. This was all the updates we got, sneaking in updates from CNN about the situation in Bombay. Every chance we got, we heard something new, and then we were disgusted.

Frantic phone calls were made. Non bombaites in India had no clue to the unfolding events in Bombay. I called up my dad, only to awake him from his good night slumber and inform him about the situation. His first reaction- Don't worry its nothing. When I filled him up with details, he realized we had friends in that area and decided to check up on then. He called me back, thank whoever, nothing had happened to them. All our friends and family had been contacted.

We were back in downtown San Diego.

And then it was the usual. Analyze. Analyze what happened, what could have been done to prevent it, what should have been done even if there were obstacles, the usual wouldas-couldas-shouldas! Who was at fault, who claimed responsibility? Did the Indian Intelligence have prior information? Whose fault was it? How many people dead? Why isn't NDTV updating their website? Are you seriously telling me that this is headline/frontpage news on CNN, NYTimes? What is going on? Can someone let us know please? Damn the government!

Oh oops, did I just say government? That thing that is meant to protect us, that thing that we as citizens (those who vote (willingly to add onto that)) elect to power. We transcend into that word the minute we run out of options to blame someone. In this case, lets just blame...I give up. I don't know whom to blame cause we have so many of them in question. It took 9 hours for the commandos to arrive. Are you KIDDING me? 3 full days of sustained encounter. We did zilch. We sent in local policemen with pistols as reinforcements, when the opponent had AK-47s. Plain brilliant. We decide what to do after we get there, not while we are getting there. What happens in situations like these, does anyone think through or does everyone just go with instinct?

Do we have the right to analyze this sitting all the way here in the US? Is it just because it’s easy to blame it on human instinct that we analyze? We talk about things being bad back home, and we do this while we enjoy fruits here. The government should learn something from its foreign counterparts. Aren't we escaping from something? What it is I don't know either, but it seems like we'd much rather be here than there, at least for the moment. Think about it. We worry, we panic, we can't do a thing. We go back to doing what we are supposed to do, considering that's what we planned on when we took that flight to the US.

It's the same thing back home, you tell me. Sure it is. Which makes the situation all the more repulsive. I remember I got into a huge argument with my father and his friend about how cowardly a portrayal we drew, when all we did was sit at home and analyzed a wrong doing. A friend once told me, if you don't vote, you don't have a voice. I couldn't agree more. I know a lot of people in India, who inspite of being able to vote, have not voted. Lazy, irresponsible, self-centered citizens. Sorry, but its true. Its easy to analyze at home and think about the do's and don't's, its apparently very difficult to get yourself to the polling station.

We can sit down and analyze all we want. 5 terrorists (reportedly) still loom large in Bombay. Terrorizing the city as they breathe. What happened in Bombay was sheer pathetic. India's 9/11 they call. A black mark on what mankind believes. And yes the government failed once again. It failed to do what it vouches for- protect its citizens. It failed to get help as soon as possible. It failed at the nick of time, because it was too busy playing politics. It turned down Israel's crackdown team. It turned down help- what was it protecting? The non-existant ego? Not everything is IT. India shining is long gone. IT won't save us from what happened on that night of 26th November 2008. Nuclear deals won't save us from that either. Blaming everyone except your own work won't as well. When time came to act, everyone resigned. Resigned cause that was the easiest thing to do. Get someone new to handle and blame. Of course, the previous leaders go back to doing what they do best- NOTHING.

But Mr. Deshmukh did make sure to visit Ram Gopal Verma for a possible movie. I love Bollywood.

Not one straight story as to what happened that night. Not one. All sporadic information.

San Diego, in all its beauty, was somber, until we let that fade away.

A decision

When it comes to decision making, I am the last person one should contact. The number of "I guess"es you will hear in the conversation will leave you more flustered than before. Having said that, what happens when I find myself in such a situation? One such situation being the upcoming elections on the 4th of next month. One of the hardest things a voter is faced with is making the "right" choice. A very subjective right choice, but nonetheless, a right choice in the bigger frontier. I would like to believe that my thinking has changed from when I was 18 and voted that year (the 2004 elections), but then again with what guarantee. In short, I am faced with a decision to make on the 4th of November.

As we all are aware, the election hoopla started as early as Nov 06, so early that people took a step back to think as to when the elections were in reality. Over the past year and a half, we've seen everything in the political scenario- none that we are unfamiliar with. I myself have been a part of this chaos, attending campaign visits made by Barack Obama, and Bill Clinton, and quite recently, listening to all the debates.

You go into these things with a clear mind, until you have a conversation with someone opposing you and forcing you to question your own views. What happens then? You know you are wavering in your understanding, but how sternly can you stand your ground? I can get convinced easily, usually not on issues like these, but yes, I start to waver a little. I could blame it on the two party system in the US, urging for a need for moderacy, but who's listening? So I vote. I vote to make myself heard, however, with a catch in my head. Would it have been better off me not voting, rather than jeopardizing the decision? The Swing Voters' Curse is a paper that talks about how undecided voters should abstain from voting. I wouldn't consider myself undecided but a little confused (Wonder what's different). November 4th, I will make a decision, a decision that we'll have to stick with for at least four years.

In the broader prospect of it all, its great when someone else makes the decision for you, but oh well I am sure I will have a post to write about when that is the case.

Thank you Terezia for this

USA ( It might not be a post for all of you)

This country does something to you. It makes you appreciate loneliness. Most of us are surrounded by friends and family here, but when its time to turn off the lights, you realize how alone you are... Someone the other day pointed at the noise of silence in this country. Though most of us laughed his comment off, I realized how right and how honest he was. A lot of us yearn for a support group, just to get us through the day. Face it, we are all in that situation. You could argue that it isn't country specific, but somehow it seems so.

And then of course the want to stay back here. We all come here thinking we'll stay here for a while and then go back, but then the fact that you begin to appreciate the independence you have, the self confidence you have harnessed here, the loneliness that doesn't eat you up anymore, all add up to you being a hypocrite to your own fundamentals. I have personally seen so many people say- I am going back- only to return to me a couple of months, not years, but months later and say- No one wants to leave this place- if its a genuine thing, fine. But do not use it as a defense mechanism because it's purpose is evident. I can't stand it when I come across these situations. And I can't stand it when people ask me what I will be doing- whether I will be staying here or whether I will be going back to India. If you can't figure it out on your own, don't try and figure it out through me and my thoughts; nothing's stopping me from classifying that as a sadistic view. Decipher what you want to do by what you want in life, not by what others want in life. Its disgusting when you do that.

So yes, this country does something to you ( if I may repeat). Can we get away from it is the question? I haven't seen anyone do so, and I don't think it will change for a while.