She knew it wasn't going to get better. That feeling was the worst ever. When disappointment... being led off track was tangible. But what could she do? There was no way out. Even if there was, there wasn't enough courage in her to do what she wanted to do, or to at least even acknowledge that it wasn't what she wanted to do.
She'd seen her family spiral down. A little too fast. Domino effect. Better than before. A start she could pin point but was it worth it? An end- none possible? Was it worth thinking about....She'd given up a lot, or at least that's what she thought. It would take a lot more to make her life seem worthwhile.
Was that all she cared about, to get that attention she yearned for? She was one of those people that couldn't do without people. Had to be the center of attention, if she wasn't she found a way to sorta find her place there. She was living someone's life. That was certain. She knew it, acknowledged it. But she didn't have the courage to change it. It wasn't fair to her....it wasn't fair for anyone....
It was the best anyone could do....It was the best she had always known....Its the best she'll always know.....
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
At a loss for.....
Delhi-6 promises to be a good movie, inspiring as well. Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra after all. You start with one video, and proceed to another one; you know that vicious chain of videos you get sucked into on Youtube. So my next video "happened" to be the trailer for Rang de Basanti- that movie that was thought provoking, that was off-beat, that made you think who you were as part of a country, of any country for that matter.
Of course my immediate reaction was to start blogging from what I saw in the RDB trailer- "A Generation Awakens". Myth I say it is. When 26/11 took place, when India was in shock, it seemed it would be the trigger to do something different, and not sit back. Sure we aren't sitting back, but ask yourself if we have in fact done something. Pakistan has not yet accepted involvement in the massacre. The dossier has had no significant impact on either government, it literally is a dossier. Plans were made in Bangladesh, now in Europe...apparently. In all of this, we have the Satyam scandal. The defining fall of India's IT sector in the world. Merryll Lynch backing out, so many clients insulted.
And in the heart of the country, that of the citizens- nothing has changed. We sit back and analyze; rage against those responsible, rage against the government has known no bounds for a while, but all in the coziness of the chair at home, in front of the TV. A two year old is raped in Bombay. Common, what can we do. Mangalore assaults. Horrendous. Let's send Pink Chaddis to the guy, Hindu Talibanization. Conduct certificates for single girls if they want to rent an apartment in Bangalore. Brilliant. Dawood trying to kill Qasab. We have all the news, we do zilch. It will all die out. I am waiting for it.
Half of us are sitting here in the US hoping things are better back home. In the mean time, we can take advantage of the exchange rate while it lasts and make fun of the falling capitalism. Job search isn't going the right way....well there's always India to go back to. And the other half in India too scared to change the status-quo. True you can't blame them because anti-social elements have taken the best of their thinking abilities. For that matter, non anti-social elements as well. Barkha Dutt pulled a brilliant stunt on a blogger, since she didn't like what was said. And she calls herself a journalist. A journalist who prides herself in the quality of work she has put forth over the years. Tell me this Barkha, wouldn't it have been easier for you to write something about that instead of pulling all the legal logistics, asking the blogger to apologise. So much for the freedom of speech you so dearly cherish and you so dearly derive your living out of.
Why has this gotten easier for us to accept? Thomas Friedman had written that our generation is Generation Q- Q for Quiet. We shout, we write, we debate, we blog, but in the end we are quiet, its better that way, we are in that infinite loop of leisure and ease that gets us nowhere.
Yours truly takes full responsibility of being in Gen Q. What will it take to change us in reality?
Of course my immediate reaction was to start blogging from what I saw in the RDB trailer- "A Generation Awakens". Myth I say it is. When 26/11 took place, when India was in shock, it seemed it would be the trigger to do something different, and not sit back. Sure we aren't sitting back, but ask yourself if we have in fact done something. Pakistan has not yet accepted involvement in the massacre. The dossier has had no significant impact on either government, it literally is a dossier. Plans were made in Bangladesh, now in Europe...apparently. In all of this, we have the Satyam scandal. The defining fall of India's IT sector in the world. Merryll Lynch backing out, so many clients insulted.
And in the heart of the country, that of the citizens- nothing has changed. We sit back and analyze; rage against those responsible, rage against the government has known no bounds for a while, but all in the coziness of the chair at home, in front of the TV. A two year old is raped in Bombay. Common, what can we do. Mangalore assaults. Horrendous. Let's send Pink Chaddis to the guy, Hindu Talibanization. Conduct certificates for single girls if they want to rent an apartment in Bangalore. Brilliant. Dawood trying to kill Qasab. We have all the news, we do zilch. It will all die out. I am waiting for it.
Half of us are sitting here in the US hoping things are better back home. In the mean time, we can take advantage of the exchange rate while it lasts and make fun of the falling capitalism. Job search isn't going the right way....well there's always India to go back to. And the other half in India too scared to change the status-quo. True you can't blame them because anti-social elements have taken the best of their thinking abilities. For that matter, non anti-social elements as well. Barkha Dutt pulled a brilliant stunt on a blogger, since she didn't like what was said. And she calls herself a journalist. A journalist who prides herself in the quality of work she has put forth over the years. Tell me this Barkha, wouldn't it have been easier for you to write something about that instead of pulling all the legal logistics, asking the blogger to apologise. So much for the freedom of speech you so dearly cherish and you so dearly derive your living out of.
Why has this gotten easier for us to accept? Thomas Friedman had written that our generation is Generation Q- Q for Quiet. We shout, we write, we debate, we blog, but in the end we are quiet, its better that way, we are in that infinite loop of leisure and ease that gets us nowhere.
Yours truly takes full responsibility of being in Gen Q. What will it take to change us in reality?
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
My bailout s'il vous plait
If there is one word that the GRE/TOEFL is not going to ask this year and the coming years, it's BAILOUT. Everyone knows what it means, after all it has spread its horizon throughout the world now.
Off late, every time I sit down to read the newspaper, I wait in anticipation of news about bailout. Who's next? Another financial institution, more likely than not....Social Security is definitely down the drain by the time I get old enough to be able to claim it.
Where is my bailout please?
Off late, every time I sit down to read the newspaper, I wait in anticipation of news about bailout. Who's next? Another financial institution, more likely than not....Social Security is definitely down the drain by the time I get old enough to be able to claim it.
Where is my bailout please?
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